After meeting with a few coaching clients this week and seeing some pretty intense breakups here on FB, I am reminded about the energies needed in a beautiful bonded relationship. With the comment of "Online dating seems so successful for many, my friends have even gotten married!" We are reminded that even with technology for help, energy, chemistry, and polarity still play a part in the success of the connection! There is nothing wrong with where you seek a mate, but how you connect makes a HUGE difference. Evaluate your focus, are you needing an external connection? Do you focus on their looks, how their body moves, what they have, what they can offer, money, career, or sex? Or are you focusing on an internal connection? (psst...get an intimacy coach) Often what WE ARE or FOCUS on, is often what we attract to at the time. It's always an energy thang...and often times you don't even have to search. When you meet the vibrational energy of the person you're supposed to be with, it will happen. Lol, of course, if this is a lesson or seasonal match, you have to go through the lessons!
The most successful, err...bonded relationships though are those of balanced male/female energies (or tantra).
In The Book of Secrets; Osho writes, “Tantra says that when the ultimate bliss and ecstasy comes inside you, it means your own positive and negative pole have come to a meeting – because every man is both man and woman, and every woman is both is both man and woman. You are born not only from woman or from man, you are born out of a meeting of the opposites.”
It's not all about super-connected, total body orgasm, tantric sex (for which a taboo needed to be created to keep you away from it lol). It's the energetic concept that makes that kind of sex possible: balance of the masculine and feminine energies. Remember, Porn was invented for a reason (think about that 🤔 and it wasn't for balance of energies)
Tantra has been around for thousands of years, and always about freedom...other connections are about...well you get the gist right?
Anyway, take what you like from this and leave what doesn't resonate and in the meantime, try to consider how you connect. It may change your entire life. For instance, when using social media or dating sites, there are all kinds of great candidates, make sure you're attracting the connection you need. Here are a few examples to give you some insight from the life coaching world:
~ If they wear a hat or sunglasses in the photos, they generally have something to hide (i.e. balding, insecurities, or worse a relationship or marriage)
~ If they pose with a car, motorcycle, boat, or item that doesn't look like they own it, they may be more externally focused (make sure you want an external connection or don't mind someone who needs significance or attention) they may only be interested in you if your external is what they consider appropriate
~If they say "Hey Sexy!" they haven't read your profile
~If they take time to reference your appearance (Wow, multiple pics of you in shorts before breakfast, thank you!) WITHOUT appreciating your efforts (Wow, it looks like you took great care in putting your exercise outfit on "I need comfort" mode - great job!) they are clever but not present
**Side note: if anyone ever comments on yoga pants like this "Wow, love the yoga pant fit, looks like you picked the perfect size to release and heal your fascia. Top notch!" marry them!!!!!! They soooooo get it 😉** lol
~If referencing life style (like vegan, spiritual, or yoga) and make a joke or comment. Most likely this will be a huge area of NO connection
~If there are grammar issues such as "your selfs profile" or "fk'd every time" be leary. Or weird phrases such as "new age picky bitch" you may want to run lol... And, they could be disgenuine with their actual location
For more, or what to do to connect to a great mate online, find yourself an awesome Intimacy Relationship Coach, who's been through the trenches, to help you match your needs with less "nightmares" or better yet, balance your energies tantra...and see life become magical!!