Narcissists are sociopaths...and sociopaths are bad for your health!
A. First things first, indisputably, it is perfectly fine to recognize that even if you feel that you love your narcissist very deeply, you must come to an acceptance that they have an INABILITY to love themselves (due to divorcing their true identity) so they are UNABLE to love you. This NON-energetic love is dangerous to your health and you must break free so you can love yourself and therefore attract love TOWARDS you 😘
Sadly, many of us actually have to experience real physical health problems to finally come to this conclusion.
B. If you REMOVE the influence of the narcissist out of your life, you’ll be able to stop romanticizing or believing they can be better than what they’ve proven to you. No contact is best so your peptides don’t kick off. Neurology is real!!
C. Narcissists lack character and life skills. When you think of them, try to picture them in your head dressed as a spoiled prince or princess wearing a dress and tiara–who cannot do anything at all unaided–having a tantrum. Make their image humorous and ridiculous because, really, this is what they are underneath all the charm.
In order to connect with our spark again, we must realize that we are rehabilitating ourselves and begin to treat ourselves as the highest priority and with care and love (often fir the first time in life!).
You are unique and valuable and connecting to the “value of your uniqueness” is the key to getting over narcissistic abuse.
KEY** Pushing yourself to develop in an area or a hobby that you were previously good at and derived enjoyment from is FUNDAMENTAL in recovering. By pursuing your OWN previous interests and removing the narcissist’s influence on your emotions, gradually, your love of life will return and the narcissist will become a distant memory.
In the beginning it seems impossible but, eventually, you won’t even remember how they managed to have such a profound negative influence on you, because you will become fully engaged in YOUR life and path.
But tread carefully, it takes some time to recover yourself and one short encounter with your narcissist can set you back.
I like to say it like this, “When the voice of your soul self becomes more profound in your mind than the abuser that bullied over it, you are on a very dangerous level of healing...”
Wishing you the home stretch,
Dezi Golden, RMTI-CLC
Intimacy & Life Coach
Las Cruces Area and Distance Sessions